


before i close my eyes

by harrystylescurls



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: #Crime, #alcohol usage, #alternateuniverse, #death, #drug usage, #explicit language, #murder, #party scenes, #too much angst, #wHY, #who, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2020-03-02 19:45:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18817741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harrystylescurls/pseuds/harrystylescurls
Summary: purely fiction. love lots.





	before i close my eyes

**prologue**

 

_”Colton Hill police continue to appeal for information after identifying the body found in the Clark River last night. But it has come to our sources that the body isn’t definitely not the missing Colton High’s sorority girl. Anyone who may have seen or had contact with the missing teenage girl named—“_

“You gotta stop watching those, it won’t do any good.” Gemma sighs, snatching the remote control away from her brother— who keeps staring on the blank screen of the television right in front of him.

Harry shakes his head, curls swirling, as if it dances. 

“She’s been missing within a week already. I can’t understand why the hell they can’t find her. It’s not like, Colton Hill’s massively wide for them to look.” 

Gemma warily eyes him, thoughts swirling at the thought that Harry might have gone experiencing post traumatic stress disorder. 

Maybe they have been all experiencing it and just too afraid to even admit it to themselves.

”Harry, I know she’s a friend—“

”She isn’t.” Harry interjects, voice rising. Gemma frowns at him. “She’s Niall’s sister. He’s pretty devastated. It happened at his own birthday party.”

Gemma slides down next to her brother on the leather worn out couch, the whole living room seem cold and quiet. Of course, it’s usually the both of them inside their house every day because their mother goes to work early and goes home at some ungodly hour.

Harry stares at his hands. He can’t quite explain what he feels at the moment. Sure, he kind of feel devastated too and upset but he can’t feel too much when everything seems surreal.

It seems like everything is just a picture perfect scene for a suspense themed anthology on the television.

But unfortunately, it is not.

Harry knows that. The feeling of reality sinking and seething deep into the depths of his pale skin. He could feel the burning intensity and the urge to peel his own skin just to avoid the feeling.

Too brutal. But that’s what he only knows.

But whenever he can remember the minute they knew something’s wrong, all of the buried feelings comes rushing back.

———

The night’s cold brushes past against their skin. 

Harry stares back at him. Then he retrieves his gaze and turns his back, completely leaving the person in front of him, speechless and unable to move.

Bodies dancing altogether and grinding at each other like there’s no space left as the loud ear-piercing and heart-drumming EDM roars from the massive speakers surrounding the whole house.

As Harry walked into the house, he started sweating. Like there is something wrong, or not in place.

He wordlessly glanced around the house to spot a familiar face. But, who is he kidding, every single soul in this place is literally every one he knows. Of course, Niall never throws party that becomes flop. It’s always been an iconic one.

”Harry, my mate!” Liam nudges him, causing him to stumble a bit.

Harry is feeling something right at the pit of his stomach.

And it’s not good. It makes his skin itch and his chest heavily heave.

”Harry.” Liam says. “Are you okay?”

Harry breathes. “I don’t know. I feel like, something is wrong and—“

”Let me find Zayn and the boys.” Liam tells him, but as soon as Liam takes another steps away from Harry, he grabs Liam’s arm with such force that Liam confusingly turns to him.

”No, don’t go.”

Liam eyes him. “You’re sweating so much. What the hell’s happened to you?”

Harry wanted to speak. He wanted to say something but he could never do it. Like there’s stopping his voice.

And either way, he doesn’t know what to say. Really.

”Harry! Liam!” A female voice shouts.

Liam groans. Harry takes a quick deep breath as his eyes moves toward the girl approaching them.

”What do you want, El?” Liam groans.

Harry frowns, as if he suddenly remembers the thing he wanted to say or ask. His eyes widens and he shakes his head. “Where the fuck is Louis?”

”I literally just asked you that—“

Liam interrupts Eleanor by covering her mouth. “Shush, Calder. You have to leave.”

”Why?” Eleanor frowns.

”Obviously—

“We gotta find Lou. Wait. I have to call him. He said he’s—“

”Maybe he’s with Zayn?” Eleanor suggests, eyes hopeful.

Liam glares at her. “Maybe. But that’s more likely. Louis and—“

Harry could feel his fingers getting frozen as it harshly hits the screen of his phone as he keeps on calling Louis.

He spent the next thirty minutes trying to reach Louis.

But Louis never answers.

Liam grabs Harry’s phone away from him, causing Harry to react violently.

”Liam! What the fuck!!” 

Liam sits back on the lounge chair. They’re both outside, right by the poolside. Beers in hand and eyes wary.

”Stop calling your boyfriend. Give him a freaking life.” 

Harry shoots him a death glare. “I’m worried. He said he’s gonna be here but he’s nowhere and—“

”Have you tried Lottie?” 

Realization slaps Harry across his face. “Right. But Lottie’s with—“

”Gem. Yeah. So, give it up.”

Harry bites his lower lip. 

“Seriously, Harry. You gotta calm down. Maybe Louis took the long route and bought some liquor or—“

”Hey mates!” 

Harry and Liam both looked up to see Niall, Niall Horan– the birthday boy in the flesh, wearing the skimpiest blue jumpsuit and has a birthday hat on the top of his semi-blonde hair. 

“Birthday fuckin’ boy, cheers!” Liam greets him, raising his beer for it to clink along with Niall’s beer.

Harry sits there, watching them.

”What’s with the long-face, Styles?” Niall raises his brow.

Liam rolls his eyes playfully. “Lou isn’t here yet. And the boyfriend here is worried that–“

”If you have someone in a relationship with, you’d know what I’m exactly feeling now.” Harry says in a deadpanned voice. 

Niall and Liam both exchanges a shocked look.

Niall coughs, “Harry, try to loosen up. Tommo’s on his way. Am sure of that.”

Harry meets his gaze, slightly relieved.

”I hope so.”

”I’m gonna bet bucks of my allowance for this week that Tommo and Zayn starts snogging somewhere—“

”And cheats on Harry here?” Niall laughs, he shakes his head in disagreement. “Nope. Gotta say, Louis is beyond faithful to Harry.”

Harry squints at him. “You’re saying as if I’m not as equally faithful—“

”Calm your fucking tits, man. I’m just saying Louis would never cheat on you.” 

Liam chuckles. “Louis could never.”

”Hey, Niall.” 

Niall turns around to see a brunette girl wearing a bright green swimsuit shows up beside him, looking constipated and nervous.

“Hey, what’s up?”

”Have you seen your sister? We were looking for her for an hour already. She said she was gonna piss but—“

”Yikes, brother duties, Niall.” Liam teases him as he nudges him too.

Harry shakes his head and takes another long swig of his beer. The bitter cold taste rummaging through his throat. 

“What? Maybe she’s in her room. Have you tried looking there?”

The girl in the bright green swimsuit sighs and nodded. “Already did. We’ve been there earlier, doing some make up and all and a lot of people showed up so we decided to hit the pool and after a few minutes dipping she said she’s gonna take a piss.”

”Well check the bathrooms.” Liam chimes in, eyes carefully watching the girl’s every move.

Niall scoffs. “I’m gonna call her. Go back to your friends. Let me find her.”

”Thanks, Niall.” She smiles and blushed.

Liam chuckles.

The girl departs and Niall sighs heavily as he turns to face Liam and Harry again. Liam is chuckling and absolutely looking amused while Harry is sitting and swinging the bottle of his beer in a slow motion. 

“Gotta look for my annoying sister.” Niall tells them.

Liam snorted. “‘Course you do. Tell her not to get drunk too much.”

”She’s probably really drunk somewhere inside the house. Mum’s gonna kill me and fucking ban parties if she knew.”

Harry looks at Niall with a confused face. “Your sister drinks?”

”Haz, my sister only drinks when I’m around.” Niall replies.

”Oh.” Harry says. “I didn’t know she does. Was really used to her burying her face with some thick textbook.”

Liam lets out a roaring laugh. “Shit. Time really flies so damn fast.”

”Trust me, she studies that way still.” Niall laughs. “Anyway, enjoy lads. Catch up later when I find my sister’s annoying ass.”

Harry raises his bottle, face passive. “Good luck with that.”

Liam just waves.

Harry glances back at his phone. But Louis hasn’t called him back. No single text message or a call. Nothing.

Harry can feel his stomach clenching.

Louis promised him not to be late and to be quick. But he never did.

Harry is about to take another sip from his beer when he realizes that it’s already drained as soon as the cold tip of the bottle touches his lips.

”Fuck,” Harry cursed.

Liam chuckles. “Kegs are over there. Or if you want some hard liquor go inside the kitchen.”

Harry nods. He slides his phone back to the back pocket of his skin tight jeans and he swoops his hair upwards as he stands up.

”Gotta have some hard liquor, then.” He announces.

Liam grins. “Bring some for me too.”

He just nods and turns his back away from him and started to walk back inside the house.

The whole living room is packed with dirty dancing bodies and drunk hormonal teenagers kissing each other right by the couches or walls. There is no in between. Harry used to enjoy these parties whenever Louis is around. Louis always makes everything for him more tolerable and less tragic.

With Louis, it makes Harry be able to breathe clearly.

Harry squeezes himself through the crowded place, he actually has to push people and even crawl around a few just to make it to the kitchen.

When he arrives, he sees Kendall and he suddenly wanted to turn away and avoid her but it’s all too late, when her attentive eyes catches him and starts walking towards him.

Harry feels like he’s gonna be sick.

So he plastered a smile.

”Harry.” Kendall slyly smiles. “Wow, look at you. Fancy seeing you alone.”

Harry knows what she’s talking about. Ever since Harry and Louis got together, they were both inseparable. Of course, they aren’t that much perfect. They had rows and fights that are all too much so they needed to take a few breaks away from each other and would usually have flings or hook ups with other people but they would eventually find their way into each other.

And Kendall was one of the girls that Hardy slept with when Louis and him took a long break.

Harry keeps the smile plastered on his face, and it sure starts to hurt his face but he has no other choice. He didn’t wanna be rude at all.

”Just going for some drink.” 

Kendall sniggers. “Don’t be so tensed up, Harry. I don’t bite.”

”Of course.” Harry’s still smiling.

”But you always know,” Kendall starts to touch Harry’s collarbone, her fingers felt cold against Harry’s hot skin. “That you can call me whenever you need me.”

Harry wants to run.

”Kendall,” He softly pushes her arm down. “I have Louis.”

Kendall licks her lips. “I know. I was just reminding you.”

”You don’t have to.” Harry offers a polite smile this time. “I love him. And I would never do something that could hurt him.”

Kendall’s face becomes grave. It’s like something flashed inside her. 

She pursed her lips tightly and patted Harry’s shoulder. Her touch feels hard and forceful this time. “Good. Very well. Hope Louis feels the same way.”

Harry smiles widely. “Of course he does.”

And there is no doubt or even an ounce of hesitation in Harry. He loves Louis and Louis loves him too.

That’s what all that matters.

Without another word, Kendall struts away, leaving Harry’s sight.

Harry heavily sighs. 

He walked towards the kitchen counter. He pours himself a cherry vodka on a red cup when he sees Zayn outside, by the poolside and about approach Liam.

He puts down his cup. And started to rush outside.

He doesn’t know why he’s acting so agitated like something is going wrong but there is something that he could feel in his bones.

And he cannot put it into words.

He strides to Liam and Zayn with a stoic expression on his face.

”Zayn.” Harry immediate shouts. “Have you texted Louis? Where is he?”

Zayn scowls. “What? He called me earlier and asked me if I wanted some weed. Maybe he’s with Toby?”

Liam grabs Harry’s arm. “See? I told you. Louis is probably with Toby.”

Harry shakes his head. No. Something’s not adding up and he can’t just sit and stay put.

So he pulls out his phone, eyes alert and raggedly breathing.

Zayn takes a hit with his cigarette, “He’s probably chatting up with Toby. You know him, Styles. He’s so talkative.”

”That’s what I’m telling him.” Liam agrees.

Harry swipes his phone open— and an unregistered number shows up on his screen. A single missed call.

And it comes from a landline.

Zayn notices Harry’s changed expression from stoic to confused, “What is it?”

Harry still has his forehead creased, his emerald eyes staring intently at the unregistered number.

”Someone called me from a landline.”

Liam interjects, “Maybe it’s a wrong number.”

”Who the fuck calls someone from a landline, Liam?” Harry asks as he looks at Liam and Zayn.

Zayn peers at Harry. “Liam’s right. Just call Louis.”

Harry is about to press Louis’ number when Niall comes rushing to them, looking worried and dripping with sweat— birthday hat obviously not on his head anymore and probably fell somewhere while he’s running.

”Lads–“

”Niall.” Zayn glances at him weirdly, his words slow. 

“Fuck. Please, you gotta help me—“ Niall stammers, drops of sweat on his face.

Liam stands up, eyes concerned. “What is it? Breathe, Niall.”

Niall’s chest is rising up and down violently and he slams his palm on his face, groaning. “I— just, fuck! Fuck, this is so messed up—“

”Niall. Breathe.” Harry tells him.

”Fuck, okay. Shit, shit, motherfucking—“

”Niall! Tell us what is it!” Liam shrieks.

Zayn is just silently watching Niall with his prying eyes, arms crossed over his chest.

Niall shakes his head down, he started clutching his chest for air. “I— My sister— she, she’s not here, she’s not in the house—“

”Maybe she is and you just—“

”No! You don’t understand, Liam. She can’t go anywhere, mum will kill me!”

”Try calling her. Didn’t you just said you would?” Harry frowned.

Niall looks like he’s about to cry. 

“Niall!! Talk to us.” Liam urges him.

A beat.

Niall purses his lips and steadies himself while shutting his eyes for a second then he opens it again.

”Her phone’s in her room. And someone saw her leaving the house.”

 


End file.
